8/11/08

Vicky, you scare me!

Alex, if you are even thinking about reading this I encourage you to walk away right now. If you decide to read further just remember that you ventured at your own risk.

I have rather large breasts. When I got pregnant they decided that their (very barely) B cup was not enough. They turned into two full D cups...and depending on my weight they may even balloon up to DD.

Not only are they large but they have forgotten where they are suppose to be. Instead of covering my chest like they once did, they fall....to my knees. I am sure that the constant up and down of my weight doesn't help matters but they are not large and beautiful. I have realized that I could never be a stripper (crap, there goes my next career move).

With large breasts that need to be uplifted, you need a large bra that offers constant support. With my job I need something that is comfortable - I am constantly moving and can't be pulling it down and adjusting all day.

My Walmart bras were not offering that anymore. Not only were they not offering my breasts the support or flexibility but they were falling apart. Out of the two bras I bought a month ago the under wire had already fallen out of one and the elastic was near disaster on the other. I needed new bras. Period.

And since I am sick and tired of spending good money on bras that don't offer my boobies what they need and that fall apart within a month, I decided to head to Victoria's Secret.

So off I drove on Saturday morning, an hour away to the mall. I get to the mall, find a parking spot and head into the dreaded Victoria's Secret.

First off, they have THREE store fronts. Secondly, they no longer are just bras, panties and lingerie now they have lotions and clothes and perfumes and makeup. Lastly, I was SO terrified and SO overwhelmed that I didn't know where to go, what to choose or how to choose it.

I left. I just walked in and walked out.

WTF was wrong with me? I was so overwhelmed by every single decision that I had to make. My head was swimming with clothes and bras and smells and sounds and pretty girls that I would have to talk to in order to buy anything. I have been a bit of an emotional wreck lately...

So I did what any smart, independent, rational woman would do, I went back out to the car and cried. Then I called Nicki (who has seriously filled her quota of best friend related emotional meltdowns over the past month) who thankfully got me to call Kitty to come and save me (you see, Nicki lives in East ButtF%#k, ME and could never get to me).

My conversation with Kitty went something like this:

A near hysterical Me: "Where are you"

Kitty: "At lunch with my mom, why, what's up?"

Me: "I have an emergency"

Kitty with concern:"what's going on"

Me: "I need a bra and I can't get it."

Kitty now laughing: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Seriously, I am at Victoria's Secret and I can't do it. I don't know what to do. I am so overwhelmed. Can you come help me, PLEASE?"

Kitty now laughing hysterically (and her mom in the background also laughing hysterically): "Let me finish my lunch and I will call you when I am on my way."

Me: "Thank you so much...are you sure...okay, thank you, I LOVE YOU".

Seriously, I have the best friends EVER! Who else would have saved me in a bra emergency? Who else would have taken me completely seriously in a bra emergency (alright, she didn't take me completely seriously, but she did show up).

About an hour later (I sat in the car the entire time, terrified to move) Kitty shows up, laughing still, and walks me into Victoria's Secret. She marches me up to the lady and I explain that I need to be fitted (I figure I'm not getting any lately, may as well get my kicks from the fitting girl). Kitty even got fitted with me for moral support.

The lovely fitting girl shows me what will work best for me, picks them out, walks me to my dressing room and THEY FIT. They are perfect. They feel nice. My boobies are on my CHEST not my belly or near my knees. The look GOOOOOOD. I have fallen in love with my big, saggy boobies again.

$105 later (HOLY CRAP, I have never spent that much money on things that nobody will ever see), we head to Macy's where Kitty picks out clothes for me all afternoon and makes me try things on that I hate. I was even able to pick out a couple shirts and a pair of capris.

Thank god for Kitty and Nicki. I would never have made it through this day without them. Be forewarned ladies, I will call you next time I have to go, I'll give you a little more notice, though.

9 comments:

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I'm a D cup and Victoria Secret are the only bras I've found that I feel comfortable in. I hate spending the money ... but hey, big boobs need to be taken care of!

Molly said...

I had the droopy boob issue and Victoria's Secret is the only place where I found something decent that put them back in their place and gave me a killer rack! Even my friend Bunny thought they were impressive!

This was bought on a visit this year, however, when I first had Ned and he was 1, I went in to VB and the woman was so horribly rude to me and measured me wrong and told me that they didn't make bras in my size and I would need to go to Laine Bryant. She was mean to me! The experience this year was so much more pleasant.

It's nice to have perky boobs, if only until we take our bras off and they hit the ground again.

Lex the mom said...

Hmmm - me thinks I need to invest in better bras. It is just EXPENSIVE, though, like you said for something nobody else will ever see. Except my hub - are they a little sexy & supportive at the same time? If they are sexy he'll be able to fathom spending that kind of cash on a bra (or 4).

Sometimes Sophia said...

Bras from VS? Pretty, but not comfortable... and I think my husband had to take out a second mortgage when he bought them for me. He was really shy about going into the store... but that's another story.

Crazy Momma said...

Oh, I am LOVING them! SO comfortable!! And, yes, a bit sexy even.

Go try a few on, lex, I think hubby might be happy :)

Tiffany said...

I have big boobs too... I love Wacoal. Expensive, but they last and hold up.

I am so glad you have a good friend.

Insane Mama said...

Lucky to have a bra saver friend.
Shopping for Bras is the worst, Victorias Secret doesn't work for I buy from Fredricks Of Hollywood.

Brandy said...

I'm very well endowed myself, but no VS for me. They don't carry my size...DDD.

I normally get my parachutes from Lane Bryant. I find them to have the best looking, most comfortable ones in my size. I might have big tatas but I don't want to wear granny garments ya' know.

Jessi said...

"Parachutes from Lane Bryant..." clever, LOL.

I hate boobs.
You could always downsize... I did. I was notorious for having the "double boob" because my bra's didn't fit appropriately.

No more.