Have you ever been to one of these auctions? Should I say, have you ever been BLESSED to be at one of these events? Have you ever participated? Well, if not, you are sorely missing out.
Here's a brief run down of exactly what you are "missing out" on:
- Three trips to the grocery store because they ran out of food coloring - twice.
- Screaming phrases coming from the kitchen like, "I AM NOT DOING THIS FOR ME - GET BACK HERE".
- A child whining "I want to go to the park, why does HE (accusingly pointing at the younger brother I have been trying to keep out of the kitchen all day) get to go to the park but I don't".
- A finished product with only one missing piece (due to a younger brother getting handsy) that they TRIED (in vain) to fill in with frosting.
- Enough frosting to clog a few of your arteries.
- Enough food coloring to be shitty purple for two weeks (because they used both red and blue food coloring).
- An auction where parents pay OBSCENE amounts of money for a cake that they made themselves (the highest cake went for $100 the lowest for $15) and their children have been sneezing on all night.
- Children who cry throughout the entire auction process because you won't let them bid.
- Children who cry at the END of the auction process because there seemed to have been a mix up and the cake you THOUGHT you won actually went to the person who was sitting directly in front of you (and had already started picking at it before you could even say anything).
- A stop at the grocery store on the way home to buy ANOTHER cake to replace the one you THOUGHT you won but, obviously, didn't.
- Cake at 8pm - past children's bedtimes.
Fun times, fun times....
I'll provide you with pictures of the cake when Kirby decides to get them onto the computer from the camera.