10/18/10

Bad Behavior vs. Boys Being Boys

This was found on my fridge following our lovely dinner conversation:


This still sits on my fridge - nearly a week later. Somehow, I still find it humorous.

My brother was here tonight for Zachary's weekly trumpet lesson and he too finds it humorous.

Is it wrong that I find this so funny? Am I encouraging "bad behavior" by leaving it there?

I guess I believe that "boys will be boys" and by discouraging it I am only, really, encouraging it. Eventually someone will mess up the letters and eventually someone will write something worse.

Hmmmm, must remove the F. U. C...and K. soon....

10/14/10

Boys.

Tonight as the boys are eating and I am at the counter preparing my meal Kirby is being a pest.

Me to Kirby: I'm going to punch you in the....
Andrew: In the NUTS?!
Zach: No, in the BALLS?!
Me: NOT NUTS, NOT BALLS, THEY ARE TESTICLES!!
Both boys: TESTICLES?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

I really had hoped that Charity would help even out the obvious imbalance of estrogen in the house...but today at the doctor's office she chose a terrifying Frankenstein sticker over the Barbies and giggled right along with the rest of them during this entire conversation.

I'm screwed.

10/9/10

Bullies. Take 'em down.

This is a comment I left for a friend regarding THIS POST he put on Facebook:

I recently told my 10 year old son (regarding the kid who bullies him on the bus) - "Take him down.  If he lays a single finger on you, TAKE HIM DOWN.  I will support you.  We will face problems with the school but I will support you.  No person EVER has the right to bully another or put their hands on another.  Take him down.  He's a jerk, you don't need him, TAKE HIM DOWN."

This bully got off the bus the other day and stared ME down.  I stared right back at him.  And then he smiled.  A genuine, heartfelt smile.

The second I told my kid he had the right to stand up for himself and defend himself he gained the confidence to do just that.  He has not had a single problem with this bully since.

I am not saying that "my" way is the right way or the only way...but it worked for us.  She is right, bullies, no matter the age (because, let's face it - any child over the age of 5 knows that it is WRONG to pick on someone), is a fucking asshole and they deserve to be told so.


I certainly do not condone violence, typically.  A little background: this bully has been bullying my child for 5 years.  He recently shoved my child.  It was time he was given a taste of his own medicine.  I do not know that it ever turned physical (from my son's side) but I do know that the teasing stopped as soon as I gave him the option.

I will not claim that I never bullied.  I did.  And I can tell you, with all honesty, that if she had beat me to a pulp, I never would have teased her again.

I was also bullied.  Not seriously like poor Tyler Clementi or the other gay teens that recently committed suicide.  But I like to think that part of the reason that I was able to get through it was because I stood up for myself.  I surrounded myself with people who loved and cared about me and I stood up for myself.

In high school, two of my closest friends were gay (well, they still are gay...).  I was often enraged with the humiliation and horror these two were subjected to.  Recently one told me that he stopped telling me when people referred to him as a "faggot" because I wouldn't sit by and let it go.  I would confront them, I would speak up and I would let my voice be heard.  I don't know that it was helpful.  I don't know that he didn't get MORE ridicule that "a girl" would stand up for him...I don't know that I made a difference.

What I DO know is that I would do the same thing today.  I hope that you all do the same as well.  As a society, we need to stop allowing bullies (children and adults alike) from getting away with it.  As a society, we need to speak up.  We need to let them know that this will not be tolerated.

I hope that I am raising those children today and I hope that you are as well.

I saw this quote today (whether it is truly Sarah Silverman's quote or not, I do not know) but it makes a whole lot of sense to me:  "Dear America, when you tell gay Americans that they can't serve their country openly, or marry the person that they love, you're telling that to kids, too. So don't be fucking shocked, and wonder where all these bullies are coming from that are torturing young kids, and driving them to kill themselves because they're different. They learned it from watching you." -Sarah Silverman

While you may not see bullying as a problem for you or your child, give it time.  We have all been subjected to someone, somewhere in our lives that makes us feel like shit...

Stand up.  Take 'em down.  Don't tolerate it any longer. 

10/6/10

Little things...

Charity: Those Nemayums? (pointing to her plate of trail mix)
Me: What?
C: Those Nemayums?  For me?
M: Yes, Charity, those M&Ms are for you.

________________________

Me: HEY! (as I am watching Charity put soap all over a toothbrush)
Charity: (jump) You scared me!
M: That was intentional.
C: (bursting into tears) You hurt my feelings, 'pologize to me.

_______________________


Me: I'm sorry, the cat died. 
Andrew: (hysterically crying) But I loved him and I took very good care of him....
M: I know you did, buddy.  He didn't die because you didn't love him or because you didn't take good care of him.  He died because he was old and sick.
A: It's your fault.
M: What?!  Honey, I didn't do anything.
A: You brought him to the vet and they broke his insides.  It's your fault.
M: .............
______________________

While having coffee with a friend I receive a text: Fr: Kirby: 911! Call me!
Me: What's going on?
K: I'm taking her to the ER right now. 
Me: WHY?!  WHAT'S GOING ON?!
K: She swallowed a penny....

Yes, before we even got the the ER she was bouncing up and down so hard I was beginning to wonder if said penny had been laced with something...

I'm a winner...

I totally won!  Thanks so much, Lisa over at Lisa's Clay Happenings!  Be sure to check out her blog, her amazing Etsy site and my awesomely fantabulous prize!

Thanks again, Lisa! 

10/1/10

Lucky

My children love to read.  And not much in this world makes me more proud than watching my children get lost in a book.  Though I don't tell him this, my heart swells with pride when I find Zach in his bed, way past his bedtime, reading a book, begging to "just finish this chapter".

This summer one of the banks in the area had a challenge: read 10 books, get a bank account with $10 in it.  Zach was all over it.

Yesterday was the last day to go in and open an account with this program so I took both boys down with their reading lists. 

And the story goes like this:

Andrew was at the end of his rope. He was tired and cranky and wired.  Thursdays are hard days and towards the end of the week his behavior gets a little out of hand.

Thankfully, Dan, the man who was helping the boys open their accounts, was very patient.  He laughed with them and fell for Andrew immediately (as most people do).  Even through Andrew's farting (that he felt the need to announce every time - as if the stench wasn't enough).  Even through Andrew's incessant questions about "the vault".  He even heard someone answer the phone "TD Bank, how can I help you?" and it got caught in his mouth (meaning he felt the need to repeat it over and over and over and...).

In the end they both had new passbook savings accounts with $10.  They also walked out with "vaults" of their own (big green TD Bank coin banks).  I gave them each $20 and let them make their first deposits, showed them how to fill out the paperwork and how the passbook worked.  Zach got a lollipop and Andrew informed us all that "lollipops are bad for your teeth" and that he didn't want one.

On the way home Zachary and I had a little conversation:

Z: I'm one lucky kid!
Me: Why's that?
Z: The bank account!  Thank you, Mom!
Me: Oh, honey, you did all the hard work by reading those books.  You deserve it!
Z: That wasn't hard work reading those books!

That's when my heart melted.  Who's the lucky one here?  Him for opening his first bank account or me for having such an amazing child that opening a bank account makes him feel so lucky and grateful?  Not a video game or a new bike but a bank account. 

I am so damn lucky.