Rediscovering my passion

I love my job. I am so blessed to be my own boss, make my own schedule and make my own choices.

Lately, however, I have started dreading going into work. I have been dreading working with my clients, listening to the same music, making the same strokes.

I couldn't figure it out. I was wishing for clients to cancel or no-show. I was hoping that I wouldn't book up for the week. I was hating my job.

This weekend, thankfully, I figured it out: I needed a change of pace. I needed to mix it up a bit. I was bored.

Recently, a good friend asked me to make a house call. I don't typically do house calls. I have an office, I pay to use that office, why would I work outside of it if I don't have to. But I agreed. I knew that he couldn't get to me and, besides all that, it has been a long time since I have seen him and wanted to visit. So I packed up my equipment (35+lb table, linens, music, lotions, etc) and made the 90 minute trek to his home.

Honestly, had one more thing gone wrong I would have turned around. I would have taken it as a sign that I was not suppose to be there.

My day was packed. I had a board meeting in the morning, the massage and dinner in the evening with a girlfriend in town from Chicago. There was no time to spare and I had to leave the house bright and early.

I got up late. I had been out the night before with another girlfriend who was visiting from NC and, honestly, I had too much to drink. I had left the van downtown (smart girl) and had to walk to get it. I realized at the moment I am suppose to leave that my linens are not dry and I don't have any clean ones. Later still. I get to my board meeting 40 minutes late (there was an accident on the way there and I had to take a completely different route). Still no time to spare.

On the way to my massage appointment I start to get nervous. Incredibly nervous (did I mention that this good friend is also an ex-boyfriend). I want to pull over and turn around. I call Kitty (she is my crisis counselor lately) and she talks me through it. I will not puke, I will make it.

On 495 it starts to downpour. I don't mean rain, I don't mean rain hard, I mean DOWNPOUR! I was doing 25 in a 65mph zone and PASSING PEOPLE! I should have pulled over but I was in the middle lane and couldn't see to safely do that. I had to put my hazards on because I knew that anyone coming up behind me would not be able to see my little Honda civic.

The rain slows down just in time for me to get off the highway and I get lost. Seriously lost. I end up heading into Boston...totally the wrong way. So lost that when I FINALLY get to his home I am over an hour late.

Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, change of pace....

I asked him if there were any time constraints, he said no, I told him we were just going to work until we were done.

Seriously, it was one of the best massages I have ever given. Nearly 2 hours later we were done. I felt so rejuvenated afterwards. It was just me, the muscles and the music. I forgot about everything else and just worked. It was exactly what I needed.

I truly believe that if you find your passion and you make a career out of it you will forever be happy (that goes for you too Ms. Martini Molly). I was losing passion for my career...that can't happen. I need to not be bored.

I left there feeling so wonderful. I found my passion again and walked into work today feeling great about being there. I made a house call yesterday and didn't feel angry about it (of course, it was nearly a $400 day). I am looking forward to my three clients tonight.

I needed to mix it up. I needed to not talk and just work. I needed to remember why I started working to being with - I love the reaction. I love to make people feel better.

Thank god I found my way back.