Maybe a reintroduction?

I am having a hard time figuring out how to restart the blog...

It's been so long and now I remember why I stopped. I got "writer's block" (or, perhaps, "blogger's block"?). I couldn't figure out how to keep going. Sure my kids are hysterically funny, yes there is plenty of drama to share and, positively, I know how to write about these things and put a certain spin on it to make it even funnier or dramatic (no, I do not have any sense of self confidence..). But, I had lost my flair. And, maybe, I just need to weasel it out of myself.

So, maybe today we will have a bit of a reintroduction.

Kirby and I have been together for 12 years in October. Together we have raised his two children (who are off on their own now), we have had two boys of our own, 10 and 8, (who play a starring role in this blog) and now we are raising his daughter's daughter as well, 2 (and, I am certain she will take a starring role as well).

We live in the downtown area of a small town in New England and adore it. Everybody knows everyone (which has it's downfalls), my kids (and I) get away with NOTHING (because the gossip spreads like wildfire), we are within walking distance of anything we could want or need. But, most importantly for us, the school system is amazing (our youngest son has an autism spectrum disorder).

Our life is busy. Kirby recently started driving bus for the school district, I run my own massage business and we are raising 3 children (how did THAT happen?!). Lately, we are encountering life problems that we never thought we would have to deal with...I guess that is where the blog will start.

Keep an eye on this...we have a roller-coaster of a ride!

Family Values

Now that I am a "grown up" I have started to recognize the important things that my parents have taught me. For me, the most important thing they taught was the value of family.

This was, once again, recognized last night while having "beans" (it's family "tradition" that every Saturday we have baked beans and hot dogs at someone's home). This dinner was a little different.

First off, it was served in the home of my grandfather, although, he is in Florida for the winter (two of my siblings are "house sitting").

Secondly, Alex and Dana made the meal. This is a first for them. Of course, they are both grown, but they have never had the opportunity to make the meal for us. It was very nice to see them put their own touches on the meal and handle all the minute details.

Last, it was just us siblings and our children. As I mentioned, my grandfather is in Florida, my mother and her sisters were not able to make it. It was beautiful and strange at the same time.

As I sat down at dinner I realized that, someday, this WILL be "beans" for the family. One day my grandfather will pass, my parents will pass...and it will be up to us to continue this family tradition. And we will.

If nothing else, my parents taught us the value of family. Where else can I find people that will be 100% honest with me and love me all at the same time. Who else can I call when I am in trouble and know that, no matter what, they will be there? Where else can I find a room full of people that, sometimes, look like me, act like me and get my jokes? Where else can I find a group of people that put me first and that I put first every single day?

Sure, we all have friends that we consider part of the family (and I DO, oh yes, I DO) but that isn't completely the same.

Even with their quirks (and my goodness do they have many), I am so blessed to have a wonderful family. I will put them first for the rest of my life and I have my parents to thank for that.

Dear 5:30am, how I hate thee...

I started running in April. The day before Easter. It was cold and snowing and I couldn't run more than a few yards.

In June it started raining and it didn't stop until August. I stopped running.

In the meantime, my brother-in-law started running, my sister started running, my cousin started running and my mother started race walking and they all started planning. The plan was to run our first 5K on Labor Day.

Labor Day came and having not run since April I thought I was prepared (I know, really smart, huh?). I got there that morning, stood next to my youngest brother at the starting line (who had not been training either), the gun fired...and my brother took off. Soon enough I was at the back of the pack.

At the first hydration station the volunteers were yelling "you're half-way there, you're doing great" and I was so excited. I kept thinking "this isn't that bad, I can do it"...then I saw the sign that said "1 MILE"...they were wrong. I was only 1/3 of the way there...I was NOT going to make it.

Children were passing me. I was way at the back and I was hating every minute. I couldn't run anymore, I was walking, and slowly...I took advantage of every downhill and ran it as fast as I could - but even that was a VERY slow jog.

At the second hydration station I cursed myself for getting into this. Having learned that hydration stations were set at each mile I knew I still had another mile to go. I hurt, I was tired, I was frustrated...my MOTHER had PASSED me AND so had her husband (who is 72). WTH?!

Soon, the running nuns were approaching from the other direction, running against the grain. "You've got a 1/4 mile" they were saying, "you're doing great". At the same time I noticed a guy coming towards me (I don't run with my glasses so I couldn't see who it was). He was saying my name...

It was my brother-in-law, carrying a bottle of water and coming to check on me. My spirits lifted and I started to run again.

As I came into the final leg of the race, people were cheering me on, screaming my bib number and encouraging me it was amazing. I felt energized again.

I finished that 5K in 52:12. 11 minutes longer than my mother and her husband. It took me SO long to finish that my results were not even posted at the race - I had to wait to see them online the next day. My brother-in-law finished in half my time...I was NOT last (a woman being pushed in a wheelchair came in after me). Honestly, I was far from last.

It inspired me to keep running.

On October 3rd I did my second 5K in the POURING rain. I started at the back of the pack knowing that it would be less stressful for me there. As the race started I watched the crowd pull away from me. I was dead last. I was SO far behind that I nearly got run over by a truck who assumed that the racers had all gone through.

That second race was a very tough course. There were tons of hills, it was cold and it was raining. At one point in time the rain let up, I said (out loud because I was the only one around) "this isn't that bad, thank you God"...10 feet down the road the skies opened up. All I could do was laugh (and curse, just a bit).

I saw three women in front of me and decided that I was going to pass them. We were on a downhill and I knew I could do it. Just as I was passing a woman approached on my right, "are you guys in the race" she asked. "Yeah", I sputtered. "Oh, good, I missed the start by 10 minutes"...and she was gone. Way to kick a girl when she's down!

Again, as I approached the last 1/4 mile I found my brother-in-law waiting for me with a bottle of water. He updated me on the results and jogged with me till the finish.

I finished that race in 53:22. Although I was not last (the three women I passed came in after me) they were not listed in the race results.

Again, I have been inspired to keep training. I have given up on running - not completely - until I can get a good walk time. I do still take advantage of downhills but I am not pushing my running as hard as I was before.

The days are getting shorter around here. It gets dark before 6pm and the sun doesn't even come up until after 7. I rationalize that mornings are "safer" to run...but that doesn't make it any easier to get out of bed at 5:30am.

Today was supposed to be a training day. I have another race on Sunday and I need to be training right up to it...but my alarm went off at 7 (the time I get up on a non training day).

Today I am lethargic and grouchy and can't seem to get out of my own way. I know why that is. I know it is because I have not "run". I know what I need to do to feel GREAT everyday. Yet, I can't seem to get my ass out of bed to do it. I need new motivation, I need an amazing reason to get out of bed every morning ('cause the great feeling afterward just doesn't seem to be enough).

So I ask, what's your motivation? How do you get up for those early morning workouts? Does music keep you motivated?

Help a girl out of her bed in the morning. Share your thoughts and ideas.

The olden days

Now that I am feeling a bit better (I won't say I am 100% because that would be a lie) it is time for the kids to have vacation...of course.

So, again and still, I will probably not be updating regularly this week. We have dentists' appointments and haircuts and sleepovers and bowling and birthday parties all scheduled this week.

But even more fun, I bought a scanner this past weekend. We were in need of new ink for the printer and the printer/scanner I bought cost us as much as the ink for the old printer was going to cost. It just made sense.

Man, oh man, this is fun! I have posted over 100 pictures on my Facebook page of high school friends and summer "camp" friends (much to their dismay). I am loving this!

This is a picture of my sister Monica (left), my brother Alex (the baby) and myself with our great grandparents.

This is a picture my grandmother sent us while they were in Florida for the winter. When we were younger she would write to us. My grandfather hated to have his picture taken (and still does). If you read the caption she says that he threatened to break her camera...that doesn't surprise me.This is my grandmother, her mother and my mother with Monica and I.

And my grandmother...I miss her and wish that my children had the opportunity to meet her and remember her.

So, I will see you next week with lots of stories of the adventures we had this week.

We've got her!!

Or THEY have her...but really, she is OURS, right?!

Yesterday my sister and her family got to meet their baby girl. She is gorgeous, of course and it appears that she knows her mommy already. She fell asleep in Monica's arms before the day was over.

This has been such an amazing journey for all of us. Especially for Monica and her family. Taking a trip to Korea, meeting Steve's family (people that his mother hadn't seen in 17 years, people that Steve had never even met) and bringing home a baby girl. But for the rest of us, to even be a part of it...uh, I'm getting all veclemped (except I am not Jewish...so I don't know how to spell it).

I spoke with Monica and Christian (my nephew) yesterday afternoon (or VERY early morning their time - the boys are having a hard time adjusting to the time change). This was before they got to meet their baby (and sister) but even talking to Christian about it I started to cry. He is such a compassionate, loving little man. He is going to be an amazing big brother to this little girl (and he is already an amazing big brother to Than).

Tonight she will be spending the night with them in their hotel room then they all head home. They will be arriving here on the East Coast Saturday afternoon (at which point in time her adoptive name will be announced). Our plan is to meet them at the airport but Z is racing his Pinewood Derby car that day...if he stinks then we go, if he is great then we probably won't make it (is it awful that I SO SELFISHLY WANT him to stink?!?!).

I have pictures but am not ready to share them with the whole Internets....not until I have permission.

Prayers for a safe, uneventful journey home and an easy transition from foster mom to adoptive mom for our baby girl.

Another unnumbered Thankful Thursday's Thirteen. My gratitude cannot be measured.

Happy Birthday, Dear Loren!!

A VERY Happy 21st Birthday to my little brother, Loren. I love you very much.

Here are a few of my favorite memories:

• I remember when you thought you were Peter Pan. You seemed so convinced that there were times I was terrified you would try to fly from a tree or the roof...
• I remember you sitting on the living room floor, encyclopedias spread around you, in a pull-up. You could read (and read well) but you weren't potty trained!! YOU give me hope for Andrew...
• You were SO cranky as a baby and that the only thing that would sooth you was your bouncy seat in front of a sing-along-song movie. I could probably still sing those songs in my sleep.
• I took you to your first Star Wars movie and the second and the third (and I kick myself all the time for it). I loved taking you to those movies.
• Dad let you cut school one day and I took you Christmas shopping and to see Space Jam. It was such a great time and one of my favorite memories of us.
• When you first started dating Emily and you had her ring tied around your neck on a piece of string. You got so embarrassed when I asked you about it.
• At your graduation party that you sang Piano Man and did it well - I would have been to scared to get up there alone. I was so proud of you.
• You played your trumpet at Monica's wedding and everyone thought it was a CD - you were amazing for an 11 year old kid!
• Remember that time Dad brought a woman home for dinner? Probably the first time he brought a woman home. You farted at the dinner table. She never came back.
• The day you were born, Mom and Dad called from the hospital and told us your name and Alex cried because he wanted you to be named Clay.
  
  Just a bit of advice on your 21st:
  
  1. Do NOT get drunk in front of Dad. If you are getting a little buzzed STOP. He WILL kill you - or at least make you feel about 2 inches tall and you will WISH you were dead.
  
  2. If you think you are going to get sick GO TO THE BATHROOM. Don't think that you can overcome it - I promise, you CAN'T!
  
  3. Drinks are expensive. If your plans are to become an alcoholic you need to get a job that pays better than the one you have.
  
  4. You WILL NOT like beer. I know it is all "manly" to drink beer but it REALLY IS yucky. You will hate it. My best advice, grab a vodka with cranberry juice or Kahlua and milk or even a Captain and coke and put it in a clean beer bottle...that way Alex doesn't make fun of you for drinking the "fruity" drinks.
  
  5. Remember no drinking and driving. This is the MOST important. If you need a ride call me. I don't care where you are or who you are with...Kirby will come and get you :)

Seoul - here we come!!

At 8:30 this morning my sister got THE call. The one that we have been waiting for. The one that says "pack your bags, you get to go pick up your baby".

Hopefully, by this time next week we will have our little girl home, safe and sound!

Please send my sister and her family (her husband, her two sons, her mother-in-law and our mother) well wishes. Keep them in your prayers during this amazing journey. There are no two people in this world who deserve this more.

And with that, how about a little Thankful Thursday?

• I am so thankful that my sister and her husband get the opportunity to visit Korea. My brother-in-law is Korean and I think this is such an amazing opportunity for him and his children.
• I am thankful that my mother gets to be a part of this journey. I swear she has been waiting for a little girl since Z (her first grandchild) was born. I think it is fitting that she gets the opportunity to be there.
• I am thankful that we didn't have to wait until after the Korean New Year (Monday) to get the call.
• I am thankful that my nephew will not miss his Pinewood Derby race this weekend...they probably will not get to leave until Sunday or Monday.
• I am thankful that the same nephew answered the phone this morning when he was suppose to be heading out the door for school.
• I am thankful that my sister is allowing us to be at the airport when she arrives. I don't want to crowd the baby when she will already be so overwhelmed...but I do want to be there as much as I am "allowed".
• I am thankful that this means the entire family will probably be able to join us for Z's birthday (as long as our little girl is feeling up to it).
• This one may cause a little controversy...I am thankful that the plane went into the Hudson last week because what are the chances that there would be another serious plane crash in the weeks following?
• I am thankful that my family is so close and that we are able to share this day together.

It's not 13...but, honestly, there are so many more things that just can't be put into words.

A night out with....zzzzzzz....I'm sorry - what were you saying?

If you are here for the contest click HERE. The contest will end on Thursday December 11th and the prize will be mailed out on Monday. You can earn multiple entries so go forth and spread the word!

I have discovered just how old I really am. Remember when I turned 30? Remember how I told you all that 30 was NOT old? Well, this weekend I discovered that it is.

We had a relative busy weekend. Really we only had a busy Saturday but it felt like it lasted all weekend. That is how old I really am.

My nephew's celebrated their birthdays on Saturday and had a joint/open house birthday party. I, of course, had not picked up their presents. So after working for a bit that morning we went off to buy their gifts. I wrapped in the car (or really just threw them into gift bags) and off we went to celebrate.

Z was staying with my sister for the night and A had his very first sleepover and Grampie and Nana Sue's. Kirby and I were headed out for a night with old friends.

We were all nervous about the sleepover and were grateful to hear that Nana Sue would be sleeping in the spare bedroom with A. He is an awful sleeper and often gets up a half dozen times a night. He was also very nervous about the sleepover. Being autistic he loves his routine and this was way off course for him.

After dropping the boys Kirby and I headed out for dinner before we met our friends. The plan was to meet at a bar around 8pm.

7:30pm: I was ready to get on with it. I wanted the night to be started already. And I wanted it to be over shortly after.

8pm: We meet at the bar that is EMPTY because nobody really starts going out until 10 or so. I have already had one drink (because we got there a little early) and am ready to start working on my second (or fall asleep on the comfy leather couches that we were sitting on).

Chris, Josiah (the Birthday Boy) and me

9: Josiah is in the middle of a very interesting story. We are sitting side by side on those comfy leather couches. He's talking away and I yawn. Right in his face. Horrifying. Embarrassing. He looked at me, rolled his eyes and turned away. One of my oldest, dearest friends. I haven't seen him in a few months. It is his birthday and I can't stop yawning.

In my defense, aside from Chris, Kirby and I are the only ones with kids. And Chris only has his kids part time. We are the only ones that go out once every 6 months. Still, it is only 9 and I am so exhausted I can't even suppress a yawn in someone's face?! O-L-D!

Me and Kirby laughing at something hysterical Will is sharing

Me, Will and Leah - the last bar

11: We decide that the first bar has gotten a bit to "yuppy" for the rest of us. It is time to find another bar. ANOTHER BAR? This bar, although less yuppy, is PACKED. Standing room only...I refuse to stand all night in a bar...I am too old for this. Eventually we get a table for the 5 of us, we sit, we drink a bit more, we visit...

Thankfully, I am not the only one that is exhausted:

Chris the DD...

Kirby and I made it home a bit after 1am. The house was quiet, there are no kids...nobody to wake us in the middle of the night. Nobody to interrupt our quiet time together.

I FELL ASLEEP.

Let's be honest here, I am sure you parents can relate, time without the children is so infrequent that we do our best to enjoy every moment of it. To take advantage of every second alone with our significant others. Not me...I sleep.

Seriously...can't even enjoy a night without the children. I fell asleep probably before my head even hit the pillow.

8am: Alarm rings for us to get up and go pick up the kids from their sleepovers. I scream at it to shut the hell up - I am trying to sleep.

9am: After hitting the snooze button 6 times I scream at the alarm again...but roll out of bed and hop in the shower...

And all day Sunday all I wanted to do was sleep.

It was a wonderful night. I love to see Josiah and Leah. We were the best of friends in high school - we were inseparable. We don't get together nearly enough. This time was to celebrate Josiah's birthday. In fact, the last time the three of us were together was to celebrate Josiah's birthday...we need to get together more often.

Maybe next time we can do a nice game night...maybe Bridge or Cribbage or Canasta...aren't those the games that old people play?

Oh, and for anyone interested, A had a great sleepover with Grampie and Nana Sue. Although, I am not sure how often his old parents will be enlisting them for help anymore...

October in Pictures

Things are, to say the least, crazy around here. Do we expect anything else in Crazy Town? I think not.

Your prayers are appreciated for my family through a rather difficult time. I will post as I can.

Until then, enjoy the pictures of our month!

IT'S A GIRL!

My sister and her husband entered the, almost, never ending adoption process about a year and a half ago.

Yesterday we got the news:

They have been matched and IT'S A GIRL!

This is such exciting news. Not only are we a family FULL of boys (I have two and my sister has two) but we expected a boy.


So, please, take a moment and send Monica and Steve your well wishes. Keep Monica, Steve, Christian, Thanny and their new little girl in your prayers through the final journey. There is still a while to wait, we expect that they will be able to fly and get her within the next 4-5 months. They deserve this and this baby deserves a wonderful family like ours.

TGIM

I love Mondays. Truly, they are my favorite day of the week. Don't misunderstand me, I love spending time with my family on the weekends...but Mondays are good.


We had an incredibly busy weekend. There were many wonderful things about it but I was, unbelievably, ready for it to be over. For things to slow down. For our routine to be back.


Thank God it's Monday!


Saturday was Z's first Cub Scout outing. They all built model rockets and met at the den leader's house for a BBQ and a rocket launching party. Unfortunately I was not able to attend. Instead, Kirby took both boys (which he seriously deserves a merit badge for). I hear they had a great time (until Z shot his rocket a second time and lost it in the woods) and the pictures came out great.

I, on the other hand, spent Saturday in the car. Well, not entirely in the car, but about 10 hours of my day were spent in the car. Monica, Loren and I went down to CT for Andrea's father's funeral.

It was heartbreaking and sad and awful and every other thing you can imagine when a man dies too young. He was only 58 but from what I understand (and I did not know him) he lived a very full life. He loved his family more than anything, loved his job and loved my brother (but, of course, who wouldn't).

We felt it was important that we go down and support Alex and Andrea through this time. So I left at 6:30 am to meet them at Monica's house (nearly an hour from mine) and we traveled another 3 to meet up with Kolbe and Dana at Kolbe's house in CT (I don't know what it is with my younger siblings falling in love CT folk) where Kolbe then chauffeured us to the funeral, burial and "reception". I arrived back at my home around 9:30 pm...exhausted.

I am glad we went. It was hard and long and tiring but I am glad that we were there. And all considered, it could have been an awful trip but it wasn't. Monica only nearly killed us once (but really it was only me, she and Loren would have survived the crash).

Sunday was a very busy family day.

We started the afternoon by going hiking. The last time we hiked as a family A was still in a stroller. Not so much anymore.

Blue Job is a quick mountain (I was told 15 minutes, but it probably took us closer to 30 - little legs and little attention spans). The view is incredible and well worth the effort.

After the hike we went to visit with my grandfather for a bit. He and his girlfriend will be heading down to Florida on Saturday for 6 months. I wanted to say goodbye.

Every year it gets a little harder to say goodbye.

My grandfather will be 81 at the end of this month. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease maybe 10 years ago and each year it gets a little worse. I know that one year he will leave and he won't come back. That kills me.

For as long as I can remember we have had Saturday night beans with my mother's family. Every Saturday (except when they were in Florida) we would meet at my grandparent's house for baked beans and hot dogs. My grandmother use to spoil me rotten because I hate baked beans. She would make me a tuna fish sandwich every week instead.

The tradition has continued even since my grandmother passed away over 8 years ago. Instead of meeting at Gramp's every week we rotate. I live too far to be in the rotation (thank GOD) but my sister Monica and Mom don't. So each week the family gathers at someone's home.

Because of the medication that my grandfather is on he has a low tolerance for loud noises. He has never been an incredibly patient man but he has gotten much worse over the years. He would never yell at anyone but we can certainly see when his stress level hits. Therefore, my family doesn't spend a lot of time with him while he is home. A doesn't understand what it means to be quiet or slow down...then I get stressed out and then nobody is having a good time. I try to see them every other weekend or so when beans are at Monica's or Mom's - where Gramp can leave if it gets to be too much.

Though Gramp has gotten older he has certainly not lost any of his wit. He promised me that we would not get a good picture. He told me flat out that he would stick his tongue out. I told him he would fit in with the rest of the family. And his daughter did the same damn thing.

My grandfather is a huge part of the reason I will vote democrat in the upcoming election. Without stem cell research I do not believe a cure will be found for Parkinson's. While it will not save MY grandfather's life it will save someone else's. I can't begin to explain how awful it has been to watch the man I have always looked at as so strong wither away. His brain is there, his body is not. He gets embarrassed, he is easily frustrated and it breaks my heart.

After visiting with Gramp and Lorraine and Aunt Deb for a bit we went to my father's house for the last Movie in the Barn of the season. We watched The Wizard of Oz - a family favorite. It ended way too late, it was long, it was FREEZING in the barn - but we all had a great time.

We got the kids home around 9:30, threw them in bed and I fell asleep on the couch...

I love Mondays! Now I am off to clean my carpets (YES, again, this potty training thing isn't working out like I had hoped)...

Thursday's Thankful Thirteen

1. I am so thankful that Z and I and our amazing team climbed Mt. Major this past weekend and raised nearly $700 for breast cancer research.































2. I am thankful that whatever was on my camera with a couple of those pictures didn't ruin the whole stinking shot!!

3. I am thankful that Andrea's father was able to walk her down the aisle and that she and Alex were able to be be there with him when he passed away yesterday morning.





4. I am thankful that we made it through the entire day yesterday without any accidents with A!!

5. I am thankful that we have had beautiful weather for the past week or so.

6. I am thankful that the weather should hold out this weekend. Long enough for Z to shoot off his rocket with Cub Scouts and for us to take a hike Sunday as a family.

7. I am SO grateful to have family that is so incredibly close. I am not sure I survive without them.

8. I am grateful that I have NEVER faked it (hey, I never said that all these would be beautiful...just things I am thankful for).

9. I am thankful that this election is almost over. No matter who you are voting for just be sure you do it! VOTE!

10. I am grateful that Kirby is willing to work his butt off trying to get out of work a few hours early so I can be with my brother and his new family in CT tomorrow.

11. I am thankful to have been raised in a family that is open and accepting.

12. I am thankful that I was forced to try discovered bison meat. It didn't taste any different in the stew I made (got it at the regular grocery store in the butcher's department). I am also so excited that I figured out how to strike through something!

13. I am thankful that I made it up and down that mountain even though I am WAY out of shape AND my knees were killing me. It has given me a renewed vigor to start hiking again.