9/24/08

Potty mouthed kiddy

I don't know what I am going to do with my little A. There may come a day where he curses out the wrong person and really gets his butt whopped...

About a year ago A picked up cursing. In the beginning it wasn't a huge deal, I really just tried to ignore it. Soon enough though, it turned into a HUGE deal. When you are walking down the street with a little boy who is SCREAMING "YOU F%CK&R" at you...well, in my opinion, that is a HUGE deal.

The school didn't hear it. Dad didn't hear it. He saved it for me. All for me. How thoughtful of him.

We worked on it. His speech pathologist wrote a wonderful social story about using nice words versus the "naughty" ones he was using. It worked, sometimes. Other times I could have to remind him that if he didn't use nice words we were going to have to talk with Mrs. Fairchild (his speech path) about him not using nice words. That only succeeded in terrorizing him...he would cry every time he had a speech session.

Soon enough he stopped. Completely stopped. Every once in a while you would get a "YOU FFFFF......uh oh...." and he would stop himself. He was learning to stop the impulses - which is AMAZING.

While we were at camp one day I heard him curse. Something like "Goddammit"...I was inside, he was out. It wasn't directed towards anyone, he was just upset about something. I ignored it.

Two days ago we were out for a walk as a family. It started to get dark and we were walking on a path next to the lake, so I forced him to hold my hand. Big mistake.

"YOU F&CK%R"

Clear as day. The entire walk home. I tried ignoring him. I tried speaking sternly to him. It ended in my grabbing his hand and walking, fast enough that he needed to sprint to keep up, back to the house before I completely lost it on him.

I was only thankful that Kirby was there to witness it. I swear he thought I was exaggerating when I explained to him why A and I could no longer walk in the mornings last year.

I can deal with temper tantrums in public, I can deal with meltdowns, I can deal with his autistic behaviors like saying hello to every.single.person we come across or running behind the counter in Dunkin Donuts - these things I can explain. I cannot, however, deal with my 6 year old child cursing me out in the middle of downtown for everyone to see (and hear).

I mentioned it at school, in front of him. He was hugely embarrassed and apologized to me, again. I didn't hear it from him at all yesterday or today.

However, when I picked him up from school today his aide informed me that she heard something - as well as the entire kindergarten class....

They were in "media" (library) and they were being asked to color. Coloring is very hard for A. It requires a lot of fine motor skills that he does not have. He said no, he refused and then he screamed "JESUS CHRIST". And the entire class knew he was in trouble.

One of these days they are going to hear exactly what A is like...I can't decide if I am looking forward to that or not...honestly, I would like someone else to witness it so they all stop thinking I am such a nutcase.

On an exciting side note: A DID start using the potty at school!! Every day this week he has used it. Of course, he also did it for Daddy yesterday...not for me. I swear that kid does everything in his power to make life 10 times for difficult for me than anyone else...but I love him, dirty mouth, diapers and all.

3 comments:

dddiva said...

*hugs* I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I never had anything quite like that to deal with, but every one of mine, as well as the dogs, delight in making a liar of me.
I think that they save the crap for whoever makes them feel safe- almost like they know you love them *potty mouth* and all so they can be on their worst behavior and not hold it in.

Lex the mom said...

I don't know how well I'd be able to handle that. I know I'd be mortified with the walking & the cussing child.

I hope things get better. I guess that's the only thing I can do - support you with words of hope.

I think they all save the best for mom. They really, really do.

Jessi said...

Natural consequences my dear... natural consequences... gotta let society take care of it for him -- as harsh as that sounds. He does it in front of you because it sounds as though you are his "safe person" that's why he gives you the most trouble...

Soon enough, hopefully, he will begin to understand social norms (to some extent-- he is still so little.)