In the words of Sir Elton John...

...the bitch is back!

Now I would never call any of my children that word - let's just make that clear right from the get go. But this morning, that song was playing LOUD and CLEAR in my head when Andrew got out of bed.

As you know, Andrew has not been feeling well. When I picked him up from school yesterday his aide mentioned that he was not himself at all. He was hiding behind her leg from teachers he would usually hug, he would be raging with anger one moment and happy as a clam the next and he seemed rather spacey all day. Of course, I attributed it to being out of school for a week (and of his routine) and coming out of this body draining sickness (even I felt spacey all day).

This morning the monster came out to play.

I got up and helped Zachary get ready for school. Andrew was sleeping soundly in my bed (on Daddy's side) so I left him there. There is no need for him to get up that early and I know he needs his sleep. I got Zachy breakfast and off to school and Andrew was still sleeping...

Come 9:30 I hear crying coming from the bedroom. I hollered up to him "I'm right here, baby". "YOU LEFT ME"...oh boy..."WHERE IS ZACHARY? HE LEFT ME TOO!". I explained that he was still sleeping when Zachary had to go to school. "HE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE! WHERE'S DADDY? HE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE EITHER" - everything was a pissed off scream...ugh.

From that moment forward, my sweet innocent child was exactly who Elton John refers to in that song..."The Bitch is Back". A line from the song: "I was justified when I was five, Raising cane, I spit in your eye" - yup that was him.

I got screamed at because I hadn't made him breakfast (in fact, I had made him breakfast just hadn't put it on the table yet). He yelled at me because he was cold (he refuses to sleep in anything but a diaper) so I got him dressed. Then he yelled at me because I wouldn't let him eat at the table (dressed) with a blanket covering him. And when I told him he was going to school - FORGET IT!

I finally got him calm enough to watch TV (quietly) and I jumped in the shower. Well, I don't know what happened while I was in the shower but soon he was in the bathroom screaming at me that there was something wrong with the TV and to "turn it off". I told him to turn the TV off himself, "I DID!! YOU TURN THE SHOWER OFF NOW!!". And then he told me he had cracked an egg on the floor. Oh man!

I jumped out of the shower, cleaned up the egg, saw that the TV was indeed working, got dressed and put him on the bus. No ifs, ands, or buts about it - he was going to school! Of course, I have to pick him up in about 15 minutes to bring him to a doctor's appointment (which he also managed to scream at me about this morning)...no amount of scrubbing my pedicurist did today soothed me enough to be prepared for him tonight...deep breaths...


Jessi said...


Although I must say, the whole scenario (from a bystanders perspective) is slightly (okay, significantly) funny.

The cracking of the egg?! Come on... didn't you smile just a little?

I love the Andrew chronicles-

Cray and Bickford Family said...

The eggs are no longer funny. About a month ago when he started playing with eggs to see if there were birds inside...well, that was funny. Now, not so much.

I'm glad you enjoy :) That is why I post!