Did you just goose me?

My office is in one of the most beautiful areas of town. It sits right on the water, is surrounded by trees and is, mostly, very peaceful. We have a bit of wildlife though nothing usually too scary.

Until Saturday...

We are currently living with one car. The plus side is that I am getting plenty of exercise during the week. The down side is that the days I don't walk home from work I wait for Kirby to come and get me. Saturday was one of those days.

I got out of work a little earlier than I expected (don't you LOVE that). I decided to wait outside until Kirby got there. It was a beautiful day. A little chilly but the sun was shining and the snow was gorgeous.

As I was looking out over the water I noticed a Canadian Goose sitting in the snow close to the water but about 20 feet from me. He was just laying there, kind of pecking around in the snow. I approached him to check him out (thinking he might be hurt - while we often have geese not usually this time of year) still not getting any closer than 15 feet. I snapped some pictures with my camera phone and talked to the guy a little bit.

Well, I am not sure if he was pissed off because I took his picture without permission or if he was terribly hungry and thought I might be tasty...whatever it was that goose CHARGED!!

As he came at me I hollered, told him to keep back...he didn't listen.

I waved my arms, told him to stay away...he didn't listen.

That freaking goose chased me right back into my office where he proceeded to peck at the glass door trying to get me!!

Kirby drove in soon after I ran into the office and sat in the car laughing at me.

I tried to scare the goose away. I made threatening gestures through the window. Nothing. He just kept pecking.

I tried to call my father for advice ('cause that's what I do - life gets tough, call Daddy) but he didn't answer the phone. I tried to call my mom and ended up talking to her husband instead. He informed me that geese can be very scary (ummmm, YA THINK?!), that in Korea they use to use them as "attack dogs" (surely, you MUST be joking)...and his best advice: "attack him".

All the while I am on the phone Kirby is doing his best to distract the goose...FROM THE CAR. Please note that I said FROM THE CAR. The man rolled down his window and proceeded to honk at the goose (and laugh at me). And when he eventually did step from the car it was only to stand directly behind the door so he could make a fast escape if necessary.

Eventually I grabbed a broom from the closet, stuck it through a crack in the door and gestured wildly at the goose. He flapped his wings, he made some noise and he backed away. I took my opening and I ran - like the freaking wind.

Both the kids and Kirby thought this was the most hysterical thing they have ever seen...I wasn't so sure at that moment (I was still shaking with terror) but I can see the humor now.

I called the woman who I share space with (who was also working) and warned her to watch out as she was leaving for the new "attack goose". She sent me a picture of him as she was trying to get to her car...
Okay, okay, that isn't really her picture, I found that one on Google...but it is pretty similar (her picture was just a crappy one that she took with her phone and I couldn't seem to get it uploaded properly and in my haste I forgot to SAVE the pictures I took to my phone).
So, in the wake of the terrifying US Airways ordeal, and my, almost, equally terrifying ordeal, I have decided...the devil has made a deal with the geese. We are all in trouble!


verygoodyear said...

Well, at least you are blaming the geeze and not some Canadian plot!

This really was a funny story, although I can see how it would be less funny were I in your shoes ;)

verygoodyear said...

Um, I mean the GEESE. Not the geeze.