1/16/08

Pedicures and afternoons to myself

My pedicurist hates me. Okay, she doesn't hate me, but she doesn't charge me nearly enough for the works she puts in on a monthly basis.

Let's back up a bit here....

About a year ago I started bartering with a local hairdresser. I give her a massage, she cuts my hair - no money exchanged. Unfortunately (or fortunately, as the case may be) her prices and mine don't jive. I charge a whole lot more than she does for her services.

Now I get my haircut every 3 1/2 weeks, a color every 7, I get a monthly pedicure (with paraffin), she waxes my eyebrows (yowch!) and she does all the boys hair as well. In turn, she gets a massage on a weekly basis.

I have my father's feet, meaning, my heels crack, the look awful and they are dry and disgusting. I never really paid much attention 'cause they look great from the top, just if you look at the bottom :) Then I started getting monthly pedicures. THEN I realized - this is what it is like to have nice feet.

Every month my poor pedicurist soaks my feet and gets out the file...after about 15 minutes she is breaking a sweat, asking someone to turn down the heat and I feel about 2 inches tall. She offered me a file to keep in the shower to do maintenance between appointments, here in which lies my dilemma...

I am a mother AND I work outside the house! When I am not chasing kids out of the refrigerator (or off of the refrigerator as the case may be) or away from the running washing machine ('"ooohhhh, Mommy, there's water going in" - seriously, if it didn't have so much potential to cause such a mess I might be able to stick him in front of it like the television) I am flying to work!!

My shower routine:
1) strip as quickly as possible, while turning on the water and searching for a towel, all the while screaming "Please, watch TV for 10 minutes, STAY OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR and put the milk back...I SWEAR"
2) jump in, pray it isn't freezing or scalding, grab a bar of soap (if the child who was last in the shower didn't shove it down the drain) and lather and rinse as quickly as possible
3) grab the shower curtain to keep water off the floor "Andrew, get out, go watch TV, I am almost done, SERIOUSLY, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DUNKIN DONUTS TODAY"
4) grab the 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner (my hairdresser hates me, I know) lather, rinse
5) jump out, wrap a towel around me
6) put milk back in the fridge, close fridge door, scrape cooked macaroni off floor and throw it in the trash, find Andrew and PRAY he hasn't found a marker or his way outside.

If you think I exaggerate, I invite you to spend a morning in my household. I love my kids, I SWEAR I do. I chose to stay home with them (and it wasn't because I knew that any other human being would consider self mutilation after spending a day with them). I know these are the qualms of motherhood - and I really am okay with that. Am I asking too much, however, to have a normal shower routine?

About two months ago I had Kirby install a lock on the bathroom door. I think I have used it during a shower twice - and only when he is home (although it doesn't stop him from coming in and gracing me with his presence - meaning he comes in to use the toilet). 20 minutes, that is all I want! Argh!

Today I have a slow day. I don't have clients until this evening. Today I chose to have the nice, long, relaxing shower that I have been longing for all week. I got Andrew on the bus at 11:30 and hopped in. I think I was done by quarter of, heels and all. I have lost the ability to relax in the shower...

Ah, well. Some mothers lose the ability to see their toes (well, me too) others must lose the ability to relax in the shower...disappointing, but true.

55 comments:

Nicki said...

I am so glad you had a nice day today sometimes you just need it you know? I am hoping to have a relaxing shower and see my feet soon haha.

Cray and Bickford Family said...

I DO know! I am a little disappointed to be back at work tomorrow...I think I need to start scheduling one day a week just for me!

Jessi said...

Ohhhh. Pedicures, baths, books, oh my. I really loved this blog, you are very funny and your personality really comes out in your writing.
And I'm in it... I made your blog, what an honor. Oui!

Cray and Bickford Family said...

:) Thanks, Jessi!

Well, your Wednesday blogs are my favorite! They needed mentioning!

Tinabean said...

I've never had a pedicure before but I think I would love it & I know that I need it.
I've tried to do it myself before in the shower or bath, but my problem is when I do it myself it tickles or feels really weird so I can't do it.

By the way Congrats on being featured!

CanCan said...

So true! Yet if I try to ask my son a question while he is watching TV, nothing can disturb him. If I want to take a shower though, forget about it.

If you wear socks and shoes all of the time it might keep your feet more soft. I have heard that might work. I live in flip flops so I'm just hypothesizing here.

Heather said...

While an uninterrupted, until-there's-no-more-hot-water shower sounds like a slice of heaven, the pedicure part? EEEK!

I. Hate. Feet. Other than my child's itty-bitty baby feet, (well, any baby's itty-bitty feet) I hate them. Don't want to see them, smell them or touch them, nor do I want anyone to touch mine. Hence, I've never had a pedicure and when I get a massage, my massage therapist knows that my feet are mostly off limits. She is the only one who is allowed to touch my feet and even then, it isn't much.

Yes, I have heels like hooves. No, my feet aren't pretty. Just don't look at them - I try not to, after all! :D

Congrats on your SITS day - hope you get loads of comment love! Cheers!

Kimmie0270 said...

oh could I go for a pedicure... and a shower... I barely have time for those with the babies... I feel your pain sistah!

Marla said...

I love getting pedicures. And I have finally discovered how to get peace and quiet in the bathroom... I get up at 5 am.

Congrats on being FB on SITS!!

Dee said...

I cant imagine getting a pedicure.. I see all those women in the pedicure/nail place with surgical masked girls at their feet, scrubbing away, not talking..... I would feel really uncomfortable.. cant explain it properly. But I love a massage and a foot massage in the process.. weird!

Showers, well, I rarely shower (or do anything) without some sort of interruption.

dddiva said...

LOL it always cracks me up when mom's, especially new ones say there is no time to shower. As a bit of a stink fanatic I NEVER missed one, but then I forget after 4 kids I am the Queen of the 3 minute shower! and forget what a long relaxing session feels like.
My grandson would so fit in with your boys morning trashing the fridge routine.
I am so happy to have *met* you.
I'm adding you to my list so I remember to come back when I have time. Yay for SITS, I am finding the best blogs through them.

Karol said...

My hubby yells at me for taking a 15 minute shower! Don't care! You've got the kids and I"m shaving my legs, back off!!

Mandy said...

I gotta admit...I hate having my feet touched. A pedicure is pure torture. I'm weird, I know. :)

Lula! said...

Oh, this was hilarious...

And I hope you don't mind my admitting this but I find such comfort in knowing that pretty much every other Mama in the US does the whole, "Watch TV while I'm in the shower, please!" routine. I always hear these "Super Moms" going on and on about how they don't let the television "babysit" their kids just so they can get stuff done.

Liars.

Vicki said...

Losing bathroom peace is on that unwritten contract we all somehow sign when we become mothers.

I would kill (or maim) for the deal you've got going on, bad feet and all!!! You worked it!

P.S. Do you live near me? I'm in bad need of a massage :)

Shanda said...

I too am in need of a good pedicure...I've only had 2 in my lifetime.

Congrats on your SITS day!

Creative Junkie said...

omg, I didn't know what Heaven was until I had my first pedicure!

Melodie said...

My ex stopped paying his child support, so for now, regular pedicures and hair appointment are but a beautiful memory.

And as for my showers, well that only happens when there is someone else around to watch the toddler. I rarely chance a shower while I am alone with her.

verygoodyear said...

Mmm, I would love to get regular pedicures. I have been dropping VERY NON-SUBTLE hints to family about how much I'd like one when I'm really pregnant, and after the baby is born... and tomorrow...

My mom bought me a foot file for my Christmas stocking when I was like 16... I still think that filing my feet is the most horrifying idea ever.

Katie Says said...

this reminds me I should have gotten a pedicure. ;)

oh goodness I can't even imagine taking less than a 20 minute shower. I am a hot water hog! you are super mom! :)

Melissa Lester said...

So if I made dinner weekly for you and your hair dresser, could I get in on your arrangement too? A weekly massage? How divine! I have thought before that if I could have a housekeeper and massage weekly, I would be in heaven. And your post reminds me that I need to tend to my feet today; we still have lots more hot, sandal-wearing weather left this fall in Alabama.

thotlady said...

On the whole feet issue...mine are so dry also. I too am embarrassed when I get a pedicure.

But have you seen some of the other clients the pedicurist has to deal with? Mine aren't so bad after all.

Jenni said...

So what you are saying is if I have something good to barter with I could get regular pedicures. . . I sure I've got something. Because getting my feet done and my hair done. . .heaven.

elizabeth said...

Maybe getting a pedicure wouldn't be so bad after all... seeing as there are lots of others with dry feet like mine! I've always been so embarrassed to go.

I totally hear you on showering! They don't need anything until I'm in the shower. And just try and keep the toddler out! Speaking of which, I better go take a shower now, while he's napping!

Rhea said...

My mother-in-law won't get pedicures because she's too embarrassed by her feet. Sheesh.

tanyaross said...

as I lay awake fighting insomnia yet again at 3:30AM, I thought about writing a blog post re: the sanctity of the bedroom/bathroom -- the ONLY place in the house I ask to not have to be 100% mom, 100% of the time... must continue to visit your blog, we're on very similar wavelengths! :) ~~T

Felicia Eis said...

I love your shower routine becaues it sound so much like mine only my little girl is two month old. She just seems to know if mommy got in the shower even when she is asleep. the minute I step in the screaming starts :P

Karen said...

It does get easier.
You will one day enjoy your shower again.
Don't worry too much about the pedicurist. It's her job. If she isn't happy with your feet she can refuse to do it, or just find a new line of work. I'm a hairstylist and I am calling yours to tell her you are using a 2-in-1.
AAGGGHHH! Don't you people know that is not good for your hair!!!

Peggy said...

We can all relate. The bathroom is no sanctuary for a mom.

Becky :) said...

How true how true!!!! It's sad but it's a mothers life.

Happy SITS Day

G. said...

I feel ya girl! I usually wait until naptime for my shower...if I'm not too exausted by then. And on occasion I'll force myself out of bed early to do it but, like you I find it difficult to relax in there. :)

Melissa said...

Your shower routine is cracking me up! I think all moms have BTDT, I remember taking my showers at night when I'd finally get time to myself.

sassy stephanie said...

So sounds like my house! I had to put a lock on the fridge and pantry!

Ashley said...

Oh my gosh! I'm so jealous of you right now! Sounds so wonderful!

Katy Lin :) said...

whew, it just sounds exhausting, lol! i'm glad you got a day to relzx (a little) hope you're loving your SITS day!

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

It *is* hard to find time for "self-maintenance!"

EmBee said...

My kids are now 15 and 18... I can take as long as I want in the shower. I do my best thinking in there. Usually I think about how I can't stand the fact that they can't get themselves up in the morning, which annoys me... but also give me plenty of privacy to shower.

Life is never perfect!

wendy said...

There is a huge fitness thing going on in our area and the place where I work is involved. I guess it is a competition to see who does more exercise...whatever. Anyway, at the kickoff event, I was informed by the Jazzercise women that getting my nails done twice a month does not constitute "TAKING CARE OF ME" and that diet and exercise are more along those lines. Who knew?! I barely have time to get my nails done and do it only when The Girl is at gymnastics!

Happy SITS day - I really enjoyed your blog. Off to check more of your stuff.

Party of 5 said...

AMEN!

Congrats on your feature!

Mindy said...

Too funny! We have one of those big bathrooms attached to our bedroom. There is no door where the shower is, only where the toilet is. I can relate to the no privacy thing!

Mamasphere said...

I have the same foot problem! Or time problem, as the case may be. Like I'm going to spend an extra five minutes in the shower while my daughter destroys the house to file my feet.

The only thing is, now I'm too embarrassed to go get a pedicure!

Jen said...

I so know what you mean. After my 4th kid, my shower and get dressed routine is done in about 20 minutes.

Lindsay said...

I only have one kid, so I probably can't relate, but I have gotten to where I'll sacrifice a little sleep to get a peaceful shower before she wakes. If you know me, that's a big deal, because I LOVE sleep.

And don't get me started on feet. Like yours, the tops are pretty but the bottoms are scary.

Kaza said...

I so get this. I can't seem to relax into anything anymore actually. I'm always rushing. (And my feet? A horror show!)

Michelle said...

Oh c'mon now. You just need to get up earlier in the morning ;)

And yeah, I've got the same heels. I didn't used to until this summer though. And I sooooo need a pedicure!

Oooo you should barter babysitting. Just so you can do your heels in the shower, you know.

mrsbear said...

I made the mistake recently of trying to relax in the shower...I ended up with baby poop all over my bed sheets. I will never be able to relax again. Happy SITS day again. You've got a great sense of humor.

Melanie said...

I want to get a pedicure so badly. You have made me want it even more. I have those cracked heels and had no idea they could get rid of them. I love your blog!!

Tiffany said...

That shower routine cracks me up. My heels look like crap like 5 min after a pedi. Ugh.

Jenni @ nest to keep said...

What a funny shower story! I have had similar experiences, so I feel for you! :)

About pedicures, I am so, so ticklish, they aren't as fun as I think is intended! :)

Again, congrats on your SITS day! :)

Karen said...

My kids have all grown up and left home and I still can't relax in the shower. I just keep expecting a grubby little face to appear around the door, or a loud crash, or screams, or worse. It just doesn't go away. I think it's natures way of preparing you for grandkids...

Rela Pantaleon-Manigsaca said...

I always wondered what happens when a mother goes to shower... so this is a glimpse...

btw, that's a good deal you have in bartering your service.

Sunshine said...

You have no idea how comforting it is to know that there is another woman out there w/the cracked heels. No idea.

I loves me a pedicure too and I don't mind the lady filing my heels sweating or anything. I also recently found The File. It's a wonderful little thing.

And I too agree, if you get up at 5:00 a.m. the coffee is much better and the quiet is TO DIE FOR. That includes the shower. :)

KDLOST said...

Hi! Great blog. Pedicures = among the best things in life. Truly! Especially a good spa pedi! Cheers! :)

Traci said...

I unfortunately have the icky, cracked heels too. Mine are cracked but are also sore. I have never had a pedicure and am quite afraid that all of that filing would cause some pain on my already sore cracks. What do ya think??

Elizabeth said...

I started getting pedicures about 5 years ago and can't believe I waited so long! It's like a new set of feet every month! Does your pedicure gal ever use the razor blade on your feet? Most states don't allow them, but if you are bartering, and she's comfortable with it, it's an amazing tool. It's not a straight razor, more like a peeler. I love it!