Lately I have been dreaming of running. I'm not running from anything or even towards anything in particular. I am running for the shear enjoyment of running. Anyone who knows anything about me probably knows that I am not a runner...I am not even a fast walker. But I wake with a desire to run and enjoy it.
At the onset of adulthood I began a never ending struggle with my weight. About 3 years ago I lost 100lbs. I have, slowly, crept right back to where I was. Running right now seems like a near impossible feat. In fact, walking fast right now has become tough...
Last night I dreamt that after I got Andrew off to school I threw on a pair of sweats and hit the trails. I ran with ease, no heavy breathing, no gasping for air, no cramps, I just loved it - every minute of it. Soon after getting Andrew on the bus reality hit me - it will not be easy, it will not be fun, I will not glide and things will jiggle (much to my dismay).
I don't like things that are not easy. I don't like things that I am not good at. I am a brat - plain and simple. Rather than work at it until I get better, I stomp my foot, fuss and whine (even if only in my head) and wait for something to make it easier.
This fall, after climbing Mount Major with a team raising money for breast cancer, I was talking to a "co-worker" about how tough it was. He explained that he use to run it twice a day...Then, this afternoon, I read Jessi's blog announcing her plan to run the Manchester Marathon in November.
What makes them different from me? I am good at a number of things, I work hard, I want to succeed...I want to run. I want to love running and know that I am doing good things for my body, soul and mind.
So...where do I start?