10/12/08

Repost: The Guilt of Motherhood

Enjoy my repost - the intention was to post this on Sunday but blogger is flipping out and won't let me use the post options....so... Check out that shirt my little man is wearing - tell me you don't LOVE that!!

Zach and I are hiking on Sunday to raise money for breast cancer....will be back soon with plenty of pictures and stories to share! There is still time to donate here.

If you want to see this posting in it's original form with comments click here.

A few years ago when a close friend was pregnant, she spoke of feeling guilty about being a vegetarian. She worried that her baby was not getting enough protein (even though she was a GREAT vegetarian and got plenty of protein in her diet). I teased her that this was only the beginning; that motherhood brings guilt no matter what you do or do not do.

Andrew slept until 10:30 this morning. He has always been a bad sleeper. He doesn't sleep through the night, he wakes incredibly early or incredibly late. He does not go to bed on his own (Kirby has to lay down with him every night, oftentimes falling asleep too).

At 9:30 I was feeling great, enjoying the peace and quiet. At 10 I started to feel a little guilty because I knew that this meant I would not get to see him much today (he leaves for school at 11:15, gets home at 3:30, I leave for work at 5:15 and am there until he is in bed for the night). At 10:15 I decided that it was safe for me to hop in the shower...I was wrong.

I SWEAR this child has the uncanny ability to know when I am taking a shower so he can wreak havoc through my home.

Minutes after I got in the shower he was climbing on chairs, playing with the toilet plunger...

From that moment until 11:20 when I shoved him out the door for school I heard:

"I'm going to bite you in a minute."

"NO!!"

"WHERE IS ZACHY?"

"You're going to have to hold me down" - all the while with the most EVIL look on his face as I am trying to change a diaper full of poop

"MY TONGUE, THE TONGUE IS STUCK...MOOOOOOMMMMMY HELP ME, RIGHT NOW!"

At 11:10 - minutes before we needed to leave for school - I snapped these photos of him trying to put on his shoes to keep my hands busy and to stop from screaming bloody murder:

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And now I feel guilty that are morning went the way it did.

Ah, the joys of motherhood...

7 comments:

Heather said...

It never seems to end, does it?

dddiva said...

Would it scare you if I agreed with heather and said it never, ever ends... no matter how old they get there are things you will feel like crap about.

Twenty Four At Heart said...

Well the pics are cute! But guilt comes nearly every day for me as a mom. Even though my kids are older now.

Sometimes Sophia said...

The guilt never goes away... the self doubt about one's mothering abilities, and the feelings of how one could have done better. (At least it hasn't for me.) Just hope and pray that the major stuff goes okay, and don't sweat the small stuff.

He knows how much you love him, and that makes up for plenty of little mistakes along the way.

gingela5 said...

Great pictures! I already have guilt with two dogs--I can't even imagine what it will be like when I actually have children!

Christy said...

OF COURSE I love the shirt! Rock on girlfriend! And the guilt? Oh, I know...you can't win for losing, can you?!

BTW--thank you for the supportive comment today! I feel so incredibly blessed in this amazing space of the Internet. I'm sure things will all work out, I just need to get out of my own way enough to feel that way more often than not!

Ashley. Unscripted... said...

Mommy guilt blows.

LOVE his shirt. Love it. One of Wee One's first words was Obama. Drove my Republican father insane.