Why can't they just sit down?

When I was pregnant I prayed for boys. I know what I put my parents through and I knew that my brothers were so much different. They didn't worry my parents by cutting class enough times that graduating was nearly not an option. They didn't worry them with the drama of teen love. They didn't run up phone bills larger than what I charge for an hour long massage session. And, most certainly, they did not get pregnant at a young age and make their parents grandparents before they were 50...

God knew what I could handle so he gave me two boys. God also has a sense of humor, however, and gave me a step-daughter that I helped raise from the age of 9 till she moved out at 18 (and I have to tell you, that girl drove me CRAZY from about ages 11-17).

So, here I am, living in a house FULL of testosterone (or budding testosterone as the case may be).

There are many things I have gotten use to:

  • I don't get asked about my day at the dinner table.

  • Nobody notices my haircuts or my pedicures.

  • If I get sick I am still responsible for taking care of the children.

  • I take time off to do doctor's appointments, IEP meetings, etc.

  • I am the one who is responsible for making sure the family looks halfway decent before leaving the house (and as I am sure my sisters would tell you, that isn't really saying all that much).

  • I am the only member of the family who does not own a pair of jeans or underwear with holes in the most unusual places (those get thrown away immediately if they are mine).

  • I am the only member of the family who finds it completely inappropriate to scratch/adjust yourself in public.

I deal with it. These are things that are expected of most moms and women everywhere.

One thing I cannot get use to is the bathroom.

So I wonder:

  • Why must I clean up pee around my toilet, off my toilet seat and, somehow, out of the trash can in the bathroom MULTIPLE times a week (and in all honesty, it probably does not get cleaned enough)?

  • How is it that these boys are not capable of aiming their pee directly INTO the toilet?

  • Why is it that they only put the seat up 4 out of 5 times (and, honestly, I could deal with a seat that was up all the time as long as it meant I would NEVER have to sit in pee again)?

  • Why is it that WHEN they remember to put the seat up the pee, somehow, lands all over the BACK of the toilet?

  • And when the heck are they going to STOP doing this?

I know many of you mommies out there deal with the same thing. I know many of my readers are mommies to all boys (including those wonderful, loving, adoring, PEE FILLED husbands of yours).

What's a mom to do?


Nin said...

I have always wanted girls as growing up in a house full of girls I know how to handle them. If I have boys, I will have no idea where to start!

Twenty Four At Heart said...

I swear my husband is the worst of the males in our house. Gross!

Sometimes Sophia said...

They used to make very thin tissue paper targets that could be floated in the bowl. Spencer's maybe? Perhaps these could provide a little incentive towards better aim. Coming from a house full of boys, believe me when I say you have MY SYMPATHY. Just wait til they start jacking off every fifteen minutes... then see what you have to clean up!! ;)

gingela5 said...

I'm with you on the pee thing! I finally FORCED my husband to clean the toilet because it was HIS mess! :)

WheresMyAngels said...

I NEVER wanted boys, EVER! Probably because I just had a sister. I raised my stepson as my own from age 5 to 19. He was a handful, but he had some other issues and it really wasn't boy related. What is funny, the real reason I didn't want a boy is cause they masturbated! I didn't realize girls did, til I was 30!! lol

Doré said...

I have a 16 month old little boy and although I am anxious to get the potty training started and finished, I am definitely not looking forward to the pp all over the toilet. I won a Flippee the Toilet Shield in a giveaway and it's gonna be a lifesaver. You should look into it. Just google it.

stoppin by from SITS.

dddiva said...

OMG that's hysterical- I cannot even imagine I don't even share my bathroom with the hubster.
I prayed and prayed for girls and when they told me Kyra was a boy after an ultrasound I had a fit and told them to put it back I didn't want it cuz I KNOW girls I am one. LOLOL
Now my grandson is the love of my life, but he can't use my bathroom either. JUST... EWW...