Charity: Those Nemayums? (pointing to her plate of trail mix)
C: Those Nemayums? For me?
M: Yes, Charity, those M&Ms are for you.
Me: HEY! (as I am watching Charity put soap all over a toothbrush)
Charity: (jump) You scared me!
M: That was intentional.
C: (bursting into tears) You hurt my feelings, 'pologize to me.
Me: I'm sorry, the cat died.
Andrew: (hysterically crying) But I loved him and I took very good care of him....
M: I know you did, buddy. He didn't die because you didn't love him or because you didn't take good care of him. He died because he was old and sick.
A: It's your fault.
M: What?! Honey, I didn't do anything.
A: You brought him to the vet and they broke his insides. It's your fault.
While having coffee with a friend I receive a text: Fr: Kirby: 911! Call me!
Me: What's going on?
K: I'm taking her to the ER right now.
Me: WHY?! WHAT'S GOING ON?!
K: She swallowed a penny....
Yes, before we even got the the ER she was bouncing up and down so hard I was beginning to wonder if said penny had been laced with something...