The Potty Wars

I thought I was done.  After 9 1/2 years of changing diapers I really thought I would be rid of them, at least until Kirby gets old and gray (and, let's face it, next year he turns 40...it will happen sooner rather than later).  But then, we had the opportunity to welcome Little Miss into our lives. 

We are blessed.  And we are, again, potty training.

In July came the underwear and the temper tantrums.  I really thought Andrew was awful but at least I knew that he wasn't capable.  Charity IS capable she just doesn't want to.  I have been told boys are easier to train than girls.  I beg to differ.

Yes, she has had an "interesting" 2 1/2 years.  Yes, she has had very little stability in her life.  Yes, she has dealt with more than any 2 1/2 year old should have in her short little life.  And, yes, she is as stubborn as a mule.

Me: Do you have to go potty (as I watch her holding herself)?
C: Nooooooooo!
Me: I think you should try.
C: NEVA' EVA'!
Me: Go potty right now.
C: Nooooo!  I neva' eva' go potty again.
Me: Hey, Drama, go potty right now!
C: (she sighs, throws her hand to her forehead, and stomps to the bathroom....) I not go potty again!

Since July we have done this.  And, honestly, she is getting better.  It has been a few weeks since we have had any accidents while wearing "undies".  She still wears diapers for nap time and still wears diapers at night.  Which means, I clean up a dirty diaper twice a day.

Me: Charity, do you have anything in your diaper?
C: Nooooooo, I go on da potty.
Me: Let me check.  Charity!  You need to be changed!  Why?
C: I go on da potty?

Sigh.  The year long break from diapers was nice.  But I am beginning to feel that I am destined to change diapers "foa-eva'".  'Cause you know, as soon as she is completely trained, Kirby will be old enough to need help...

Liar, liar.

I love that little kids can't tell time.  I think it is an amazing gift provided by God.

I have no idea what time Little Miss got up this morning but I do know that by the time I got up she had already been through the house, "stealing" little bits and pieces (including Andrew's glasses) and making a mess.

I also know that since she got "caught" this morning and tried like hell to charm her way out of it (which did not work) she has cried.  "Go potty"..."noooooooo, neva', eva'".  "No, you may not watch TV, you were playing with the computer", "noooooooo, can I watch TVs? Let me 'pologize to you". 

Thankfully, at 2 1/2 Little Miss still naps.  She always naps after lunch.  And, thankfully, at 2 1/2 Little Miss can't tell time. 

So by 10am she had eaten her "lunch" and is now napping nicely in her bed. 

Liar, liar....

What's that smell?

Much to Brian's dismay, this post is NOT about the Potty Wars.  Though, I promise I will do one regarding that specific topic very soon (and perhaps the title will be the same...).

As I was switching laundry today, I noticed a horrendous smell coming from the laundry room.  While I know clothes get dirty when you wear them, we only wear them once...they don't get THAT dirty (and if my kids smell that bad obviously I am not bathing them enough...though I was sure once every two weeks was enough...).

I pulled the two baskets of dirty laundry down and checked behind the washer and dryer where I found no less than 4 pairs of dirty underwear (I couldn't understand where all the new underwear I bought was disappearing to), 5 lonely socks and a shirt....none of which was the source of the smell....

I decided that the best idea was to just start washing.  Eventually the smell would come out in the...well, the wash. 

As I am loading the washing machine I grab a towel and find the source.  Somebody (KIRBY!!!!) wiped up spilled tuna juice with a towel and left it to sit. 

So now a load of laundry is running on the hottest water possible with both laundry detergent and Pine Sol (to kill whatever may be living on that god awful smelling towel).

Awesome.

I miss you!

Yesterday was Andrew and Zachary's first time with their new babysitter.  Kirby and I have always done our best to arrange our schedules so the kids don't need sitters, but as my business grows and since he started driving for the school district, things have had to change. 

We were so lucky to know a young lady who has the time and desire to watch our two monsters for an hour or so after school.  She is fantastic and I am so thankful she was able to make it work with us.

Back to the story.

Yesterday was her first day.  She picked them up at school, brought them home, got snack and started homework.  I walked through the door before 4:30 - they have only been home for 45 minutes.  Andrew runs to the door, jumps in my arms, "Mooooommmyy!!! You're back!!  I missed you!!".  You'd think I had been gone for days. 

God I love that kid.

Little things I want to remember...

Today, on the way to my doctor's appointment, Charity and I have the cutest conversation.

C: You breath, Erica?  The doctor listen to your heart?
Me: Yes, baby, the doctor will listen to my hear.  How did you get so smart?
C: At Grum's house.

________

Last month we went to camp.  At camp the boys are allowed to pee wherever boys want to pee.  A week after returning, Kirby and I were sitting on the front porch and Andrew came flying out the door from the house.  He runs behind a bush and drops his pants.

Me: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Andrew: I had to pee.
Me: You can't do that at home, only at camp.
Andrew: But I had to pee!

_________

Tonight as I am putting Andrew to bed we have a quick conversation about his crazy behavior.

Me: Andrew, what is going on with you tonight?!
A: I'm outta control.
Me: Yes, I see that, but why?
A: Because it's a full moon, or a half moon or a crescent moon.  It's some kind of moon.

_________

Andrew walks into the house last week, sees that it is clean and says "are we having company".  Shit.