I don't like pain. Not at all, not in any sense. If it isn't easy, I don't want to do it. And, honestly, this is the story of my life...
I gain weight because it is easier than working out and watching what I eat (which accounts for me being at my highest weight since losing 100 lbs a few years ago). My relationship struggles because I don't want to deal with the pain of putting in the work. My house is (often) a disaster because I don't want to deal with the pain of cleaning it up...the list goes on and on.
Lazy, perhaps. Actually, probably most definitely. But the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one...right?!
So, I have decided that I hate Billy Blanks (oh and don't even get me started on his perky daughter Shellie who just makes me want to puke every time I see her) . You see, I have started doing a Tae Bo video every morning with Z. I figured I could kill two birds with one stone:
1) Z gets some energy out before he goes to school with the intention of helping his (undiagnosed) ADHD.
2) I burn some calories and (hopefully) don't look like a fat cow at my brother's wedding in June.
And along with Billy and his perky daughter Shellie (gosh, even the way she spells it makes me think PERKY) I have added Lance. Now, Lance I like. Lance makes things very easy for me with The Daily Plate. I track everything I eat, every calorie I burn and every pound of weight I lose. And by "calorie burning" you know that I mean everything from grocery shopping to putting on makeup to SEX (yes, you read that right, you can count sex to your calorie burning) to massage work (some of my recent fitness logs included Tae Bo, folding clothes, washing dishes and shoveling snow). Did you know that massage work (for me, at my weight) burns approximately 417 calories an hour (which is really nice because, on a good day, I have 4 clients which equals NEARLY the amount of calories I am allotted each day) and walking to and from work everyday burns 353 calories...see, Lance I like.
I have been tracking my food for about a week. Honestly, I have not been doing it as faithfully as I should (I skipped the weekend) but it has made everything so much easier and made me really aware of what I am consuming on a daily basis. Did you know that a Dunkin Donuts Boston Creme Donut is 270 calories? That is more than I burn doing 20 minutes of Tae Bo with STUPID Billy and Shellie.
The past two mornings Z and I have gotten up early and done some Tae Bo. Yesterday (day one) I lasted about 10 minutes and then I died. Right on the floor. My heart stopped until the DVD was off...then I came to. Z, of course, being the ball of energy that he is, said "we barely even started". I told him I thought it was enough for one day...
It hurts. Every inch of my body hurts. My hips hurt, my legs hurt, my ass hurts...it's a big reminder of the last time I joined a gym.
But that got me thinking about the "no pain- no gain" concept and my complete inability to put myself through any sort of pain.
Did I think this was going to be easy?
Did I think that I could just melt the pounds away by blogging at the computer? Blogging, BTW, burns about 156 calories per hour.
Doesn't pain = strength?
Don't we all have to go through pain to get stronger?
And then (of course cause I have the (undiagnosed) ADHD tendencies as well) I started thinking about my life in general and how I am apt to give up at anything that seems too hard...
So now, I am on a mission. I am going to do things that are hard. I am not giving myself a time limit or going to say "until" (because that makes things so much easier for me to give up on). I am going to do this today. Today I am going to do things that are hard (like the 20 minutes of Tae Bo I FORCED myself to do - but you can bet your ass that as soon as 20 minutes was up I was DONE). Today is much easier than this week or this month or until I lose 100 pounds...
So, wish me luck, TODAY. Things are going to get a whole lot harder as time goes on...
1/22/09
1/21/09
Drama!!
I have come to realize that the networking sites (like Facebook and MySpace) do one thing well: FEED DRAMA.
So if you are wondering if you should join either site (because EVERYONE is doing it) and you don't deal well with drama...perhaps you should reconsider.
I left high school well over 10 years ago and wouldn't go back if you paid me. I certainly don't want the drama that I left behind infiltrating my life today.
I know who my real friends are, I don't need Facebook or MySpace to remind me or to tell me what they are doing every minute of every day.
So I'm taking a break from all things drama related. It's not worth it.
So if you are wondering if you should join either site (because EVERYONE is doing it) and you don't deal well with drama...perhaps you should reconsider.
I left high school well over 10 years ago and wouldn't go back if you paid me. I certainly don't want the drama that I left behind infiltrating my life today.
I know who my real friends are, I don't need Facebook or MySpace to remind me or to tell me what they are doing every minute of every day.
So I'm taking a break from all things drama related. It's not worth it.
Did you just goose me?
My office is in one of the most beautiful areas of town. It sits right on the water, is surrounded by trees and is, mostly, very peaceful. We have a bit of wildlife though nothing usually too scary.
Until Saturday...
We are currently living with one car. The plus side is that I am getting plenty of exercise during the week. The down side is that the days I don't walk home from work I wait for Kirby to come and get me. Saturday was one of those days.
I got out of work a little earlier than I expected (don't you LOVE that). I decided to wait outside until Kirby got there. It was a beautiful day. A little chilly but the sun was shining and the snow was gorgeous.
As I was looking out over the water I noticed a Canadian Goose sitting in the snow close to the water but about 20 feet from me. He was just laying there, kind of pecking around in the snow. I approached him to check him out (thinking he might be hurt - while we often have geese not usually this time of year) still not getting any closer than 15 feet. I snapped some pictures with my camera phone and talked to the guy a little bit.
Well, I am not sure if he was pissed off because I took his picture without permission or if he was terribly hungry and thought I might be tasty...whatever it was that goose CHARGED!!
As he came at me I hollered, told him to keep back...he didn't listen.
I waved my arms, told him to stay away...he didn't listen.
That freaking goose chased me right back into my office where he proceeded to peck at the glass door trying to get me!!
Kirby drove in soon after I ran into the office and sat in the car laughing at me.
I tried to scare the goose away. I made threatening gestures through the window. Nothing. He just kept pecking.
I tried to call my father for advice ('cause that's what I do - life gets tough, call Daddy) but he didn't answer the phone. I tried to call my mom and ended up talking to her husband instead. He informed me that geese can be very scary (ummmm, YA THINK?!), that in Korea they use to use them as "attack dogs" (surely, you MUST be joking)...and his best advice: "attack him".
All the while I am on the phone Kirby is doing his best to distract the goose...FROM THE CAR. Please note that I said FROM THE CAR. The man rolled down his window and proceeded to honk at the goose (and laugh at me). And when he eventually did step from the car it was only to stand directly behind the door so he could make a fast escape if necessary.
Eventually I grabbed a broom from the closet, stuck it through a crack in the door and gestured wildly at the goose. He flapped his wings, he made some noise and he backed away. I took my opening and I ran - like the freaking wind.
Both the kids and Kirby thought this was the most hysterical thing they have ever seen...I wasn't so sure at that moment (I was still shaking with terror) but I can see the humor now.
I called the woman who I share space with (who was also working) and warned her to watch out as she was leaving for the new "attack goose". She sent me a picture of him as she was trying to get to her car...
Okay, okay, that isn't really her picture, I found that one on Google...but it is pretty similar (her picture was just a crappy one that she took with her phone and I couldn't seem to get it uploaded properly and in my haste I forgot to SAVE the pictures I took to my phone).
So, in the wake of the terrifying US Airways ordeal, and my, almost, equally terrifying ordeal, I have decided...the devil has made a deal with the geese. We are all in trouble!
1/20/09
I cried, I got chills, I texted...
Yes it is. Yes we did! Yes HE will. Today is the first day of the next 4 years.
When I saw Barack Obama in Dover, NH over 2 years ago I KNEW he was something special. Never before had I been so excited about a presidential campaign. But I KNEW this was MY time. So I signed that little card asking for volunteers.
When Max from the Obama campaign called me and asked me to help I told him ABSOLUTELY as long as I didn't have to make phone calls. Two weeks later I drove an hour to the Conway, NH district office and did just that...made phone calls. Because I BELIEVED.
And through the summer and fall I worked and worked and worked. I knocked on doors, I made phone calls, I worked events, I talked and debated and prayed and I hoped.
When all the Wolfeboro volunteers gathered in Phil's living room on primary night there was a palpable energy. We KNEW we had worked and worked and worked and made a difference in the minds of voters across the town. When OUR numbers came in and WE WON Wolfeboro - the energy became electric.
When they announced that Hillary Clinton had taken the state I cried. I was heartbroken, knowing how hard I had worked, how hard my fellow volunteers had worked...it hurt. I was in a state of shock for a number of days. The polls had predicted a 17 point lead. It killed.
And when he DID become the Democratic nominee. I was thrilled. I knew how hard I had worked and how hard volunteers across the nation must have worked to make that happen.
I did not volunteer through the general election. I had burned myself (and my relationships) out during the primary. It was a lot of hard work, a lot of time away from my family and friends. A lot of time on the phone debating why Obama WAS the right man for the job. I wouldn't take it back for anything - but I knew that I could not sustain (and my relationships could not sustain)another 6 months of working that hard.
When Charlie Gibson paused on election night, waiting for the California polls to close, I thought "WTF is he doing?". And then it happened. He announced that Barack Obama was the next President of The United States of America. I fell to my knees. I cried, I got chills, I texted, I cried, I got chills, I SCREAMED.
Today IS THE DAY. The day I worked so hard for. The day that I wanted so badly. The day that so many of us prayed and hoped and worked for.
Whether or not you voted for him, I hope that you recognize what TODAY is. Today is the first day of the next four years. The first day that Americans can say that we have a black man serving as our commander and chief. The day that history is made. The day that I can look at my children and say, "THIS is what I worked so hard for. THIS is what we stood on the corner holding our signs in subzero temperatures for. THIS is what took me away from you for nights upon nights upon nights. THIS is why we vote. This is why we are AMERICANS. THIS is the first day of the next four years."
He will not be perfect, he will make mistakes. But today is a day that we can all be proud of the democratic process that we are a part of - whether you voted for him or not, the democratic process works.
Democrat or Republican, man or woman, black or white...this is history. Take a minute and be part of it.
When I saw Barack Obama in Dover, NH over 2 years ago I KNEW he was something special. Never before had I been so excited about a presidential campaign. But I KNEW this was MY time. So I signed that little card asking for volunteers.
When Max from the Obama campaign called me and asked me to help I told him ABSOLUTELY as long as I didn't have to make phone calls. Two weeks later I drove an hour to the Conway, NH district office and did just that...made phone calls. Because I BELIEVED.
And through the summer and fall I worked and worked and worked. I knocked on doors, I made phone calls, I worked events, I talked and debated and prayed and I hoped.
When all the Wolfeboro volunteers gathered in Phil's living room on primary night there was a palpable energy. We KNEW we had worked and worked and worked and made a difference in the minds of voters across the town. When OUR numbers came in and WE WON Wolfeboro - the energy became electric.
When they announced that Hillary Clinton had taken the state I cried. I was heartbroken, knowing how hard I had worked, how hard my fellow volunteers had worked...it hurt. I was in a state of shock for a number of days. The polls had predicted a 17 point lead. It killed.
And when he DID become the Democratic nominee. I was thrilled. I knew how hard I had worked and how hard volunteers across the nation must have worked to make that happen.
I did not volunteer through the general election. I had burned myself (and my relationships) out during the primary. It was a lot of hard work, a lot of time away from my family and friends. A lot of time on the phone debating why Obama WAS the right man for the job. I wouldn't take it back for anything - but I knew that I could not sustain (and my relationships could not sustain)another 6 months of working that hard.
When Charlie Gibson paused on election night, waiting for the California polls to close, I thought "WTF is he doing?". And then it happened. He announced that Barack Obama was the next President of The United States of America. I fell to my knees. I cried, I got chills, I texted, I cried, I got chills, I SCREAMED.
Today IS THE DAY. The day I worked so hard for. The day that I wanted so badly. The day that so many of us prayed and hoped and worked for.
Whether or not you voted for him, I hope that you recognize what TODAY is. Today is the first day of the next four years. The first day that Americans can say that we have a black man serving as our commander and chief. The day that history is made. The day that I can look at my children and say, "THIS is what I worked so hard for. THIS is what we stood on the corner holding our signs in subzero temperatures for. THIS is what took me away from you for nights upon nights upon nights. THIS is why we vote. This is why we are AMERICANS. THIS is the first day of the next four years."
He will not be perfect, he will make mistakes. But today is a day that we can all be proud of the democratic process that we are a part of - whether you voted for him or not, the democratic process works.
Democrat or Republican, man or woman, black or white...this is history. Take a minute and be part of it.
1/16/09
Musical Meme
These are my favorite memes...I love it even more when they make sense (which only a few of these do like my favorite saying - HYSTERICAL).
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it does not make sense.
4. Tag someone else
NO CHEATING!
How do you feel today? U Got The Look - Prince
What’s your outlook on life? Volunteers - Jefferson Airplane
What does your family think of you? Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
What do your friends think of you? Just A Girl - No Doubt
What do strangers think of you? Overture/Hannibal - Phantom of the Opera
What do your exes think of you? Santa Fe - Newsies
How’s your love life? Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - Phantom of the Opera
How will your love life be in the future? Don't Give Up - Peter Gabriel
Will you get married? Don't Stop The Music - Rhianna
Are you good at school? Keeps Gettin' Better - Christina Aguilera
Will you be successful? Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
What song should they play on your birthday? Decode - Paramore
What song should they play at your graduation? Ball And Chain - Janis Joplin
The Soundtrack of your life? Javert's Arrival - Les Miserable
You and your best friends are? Love Like This - Natasha Bedingfield
Happy times: Cole's Song - Julian Lennon
Sad times: You Just Get Better All The Time - Tim McGraw
Every day: SOS - Rihanna
For tommorrow: Someone To Watch Over Me - Julia Fordham
For you: Maria Maria - Santana
What does next year have in store for me? Wishing It Was - Santana
What do I say when life gets too hard? Ventura Highway - America
What song will I dance to at my wedding? The Bargain: The Waltz of Treachery - Les Miserable
What do you want as your career? You're My Best Friend - Queen
Your favorite saying? Save A Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big & Rich
How will I die? Sloop John B - The Beach Boys
I tag Tony from Soy Sauce Packets and Epiphanies...have fun!
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it does not make sense.
4. Tag someone else
NO CHEATING!
How do you feel today? U Got The Look - Prince
What’s your outlook on life? Volunteers - Jefferson Airplane
What does your family think of you? Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
What do your friends think of you? Just A Girl - No Doubt
What do strangers think of you? Overture/Hannibal - Phantom of the Opera
What do your exes think of you? Santa Fe - Newsies
How’s your love life? Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again - Phantom of the Opera
How will your love life be in the future? Don't Give Up - Peter Gabriel
Will you get married? Don't Stop The Music - Rhianna
Are you good at school? Keeps Gettin' Better - Christina Aguilera
Will you be successful? Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand
What song should they play on your birthday? Decode - Paramore
What song should they play at your graduation? Ball And Chain - Janis Joplin
The Soundtrack of your life? Javert's Arrival - Les Miserable
You and your best friends are? Love Like This - Natasha Bedingfield
Happy times: Cole's Song - Julian Lennon
Sad times: You Just Get Better All The Time - Tim McGraw
Every day: SOS - Rihanna
For tommorrow: Someone To Watch Over Me - Julia Fordham
For you: Maria Maria - Santana
What does next year have in store for me? Wishing It Was - Santana
What do I say when life gets too hard? Ventura Highway - America
What song will I dance to at my wedding? The Bargain: The Waltz of Treachery - Les Miserable
What do you want as your career? You're My Best Friend - Queen
Your favorite saying? Save A Horse (Ride a Cowboy) - Big & Rich
How will I die? Sloop John B - The Beach Boys
I tag Tony from Soy Sauce Packets and Epiphanies...have fun!
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